My first romance novel

Glanced at a tweet this afternoon while in the middle of a tedious work document that no one will read anyway, and told myself I’d try and remember my first romance novel, droopy-eyed and struggling as I am this evening…

Do you remember your very first romance novel? I really had to rack my brains over this one, but I think it has to be P.S. I love you, from Sweet Dream romances. I think I was eleven. It was actually a brilliant introduction to the genre, because [SPOILER!]

the boy actually carks it by the end of the book.

Hot damn! I hadn’t expected that. It was actually a little gut-wrenching, and I remembered sitting up and going, “No! He DIDN’T! He DID! GAAAAAAAHHHHH!” The death wasn’t overly sentimental, but I was devastated and I loved it. I ended up trying to read every other book in that series, but nothing came close. I’ve since learnt that it’s one of the most popular books in the series, and quite the staple for many pre-adolescents now all grown up.

The only other time I enjoyed a teen romance that much was when I read The Silver Kiss. [SPOILER!]

Again, the hero carks it. But this time, he’s a vampire which is even better because now we’ve combined necking (hah!) with forbidden love and death. Drama, drama, drama. Loved it.

Killing off the hero or the heroine. It’s bittersweet chocolate, really. It’s what makes Nicholas Sparks so popular, what makes us want to watch The English Patient over and over again. (Ralph Fiennes is SO fine…) Maybe one day I’ll write a weepy, but I need to get the contemporary romantic-comedy out of my system first.

Related topic – first book with sex

Forever, by Judy Blume. Because my mother kept a real close eye on what I was reading back then, I didn’t get to read anything with nookie in it (apart from medical books) until I was 12. And Judy led the initiation.

I’ll admit now that I didn’t get a lot of it. I remembered poring over the words with my cousin, and asking what all this coming is about. (Coming? Where is he coming from? Where is he going? What the…?)

I remembered him naming his member Ralph. That much was memorable. (Katrina, you could add Ralph to the collection!)

It’s one thing to learn about all the people bits; what’s concave and convex and where things fit. But having the very act painted across the green screen of your imagination for the very first time is a completely different beast. Romance novels dwell on the emotions, the rawness, the energy, even the brutality of it. It’s completely idealistic and unrealistic. It never smells, never leaks afterwards, never gets stray hairs in your mouth. And no one can accuse it of being too clinical.

But just like everything else, reading the act of love for the first time is pretty damn memorable.