Show vs Tell: the art of not stating the obvious

I just read arguably the worst romance novel I’ve read in a long time.

It’s taken me a while to work up the courage to blog about this (22 hours), because I am now aspiring to be published and have my book loved and accepted by dozens (I have small aspirations). Ripping into another work of fiction that actually got published is therefore kinda hypocritical. Who am I to cast the first stone? I can’t even finish a damn draft, right?

So as a writer, I tried really hard to root for the book. And I liked the premise – it had great promise. There was a hunky has-been celebrity. There was a young mother of a teenager. There was a bed and breakfast. Which meant there was a bed. And there might have been breakfast after. Cosy.

But as a reader, I couldn’t get past the annoyances. So as a book lover, I’d like to glean a couple of lessons learnt and share them with you.

1. Writing from different viewpoints only works if it’s believable
   This one actually freaks me out, because I’m writing in third-person which means I get to report on what each character might think or feel. This book did a Jodi Picoult, however – and wrote in first person from three points of view (POV). Which is challenging, because you’re now trying to articulate the inner-voices of three radically different characters. And if your hero’s inner voice sounds like a woman fretting – you know you’re really hearing the author, and then your character’s screwed.
2. Again with the hidden story!
   Because of the 3 POV, the other two characters sounded like a Greek chorus to the protaganist. And I was therefore left in no doubt as to why the other two characters were behaving the way they were behaving. Seriously, the author took the mystery out of everything so there was no hidden story. And because romance novels are typically predictable (“The Hero and the Heroine end up together? Forshizz???”), all the reader has left is the fun of guessing why the hero’s being so distant, and when he’s finally going to fall in love. But instead, I got treated to a running commentary of his brain. No fun.
3. This is not a blog or a screenplay
   If the action starts at the bar, start your scene at the bar, paint the picture, and show why your protagonist is there. Don’t tell me what she had for lunch. Or how she arrived at the bar. Or what she and her girlfriends chatted to each other about – in detail – on the way there. There were so many superfluous details that could have been done without. Again, this one makes me tremble because my characters talk heaps. And after reading this book, I’m now petrified that I’m flooding my pages with banal dialogue.

I don’t know. Perhaps I’m being too harsh. There’s a part of me oddly cheered that if a book like this got published anyway, there’s hope for me yet.

And then there’s the other part of me that’s petrified I won’t even make it that far.