Show vs Tell: the art of not stating the obvious
I just read arguably the worst romance novel I’ve read in a long time.
It’s taken me a while to work up the courage to blog about this (22 hours), because I am now aspiring to be published and have my book loved and accepted by dozens (I have small aspirations). Ripping into another work of fiction that actually got published is therefore kinda hypocritical. Who am I to cast the first stone? I can’t even finish a damn draft, right?
So as a writer, I tried really hard to root for the book. And I liked the premise – it had great promise. There was a hunky has-been celebrity. There was a young mother of a teenager. There was a bed and breakfast. Which meant there was a bed. And there might have been breakfast after. Cosy.
But as a reader, I couldn’t get past the annoyances. So as a book lover, I’d like to glean a couple of lessons learnt and share them with you.
- Writing from different viewpoints only works if it’s believable
This one actually freaks me out, because I’m writing in third-person which means I get to report on what each character might think or feel. This book did a Jodi Picoult, however – and wrote in first person from three points of view (POV). Which is challenging, because you’re now trying to articulate the inner-voices of three radically different characters. And if your hero’s inner voice sounds like a woman fretting – you know you’re really hearing the author, and then your character’s screwed. - Again with the hidden story!
Because of the 3 POV, the other two characters sounded like a Greek chorus to the protaganist. And I was therefore left in no doubt as to why the other two characters were behaving the way they were behaving. Seriously, the author took the mystery out of everything so there was no hidden story. And because romance novels are typically predictable (“The Hero and the Heroine end up together? Forshizz???”), all the reader has left is the fun of guessing why the hero’s being so distant, and when he’s finally going to fall in love. But instead, I got treated to a running commentary of his brain. No fun. - This is not a blog or a screenplay
If the action starts at the bar, start your scene at the bar, paint the picture, and show why your protagonist is there. Don’t tell me what she had for lunch. Or how she arrived at the bar. Or what she and her girlfriends chatted to each other about – in detail – on the way there. There were so many superfluous details that could have been done without. Again, this one makes me tremble because my characters talk heaps. And after reading this book, I’m now petrified that I’m flooding my pages with banal dialogue.
I don’t know. Perhaps I’m being too harsh. There’s a part of me oddly cheered that if a book like this got published anyway, there’s hope for me yet.
And then there’s the other part of me that’s petrified I won’t even make it that far.
And yet another about the Hidden Story
Had this blog post open for a while, because I thought this writer put it well when he said,
The major players in your story must have… subterranean motivations, and ideally provide such curiosity-sparking mysteries for your readers. Perhaps you eventually reveal what makes those gears whir — in a revelatory flashback, for instance, or a final, crucial sliver of information presented in act three — or perhaps you don’t. What’s important is that you must know what makes them tick (and tic), and slyly weave these details into your narrative.
Don’t put it all on the page. Hold a few of those cards close, damned close, to your vest. And understand that if your entire knowledge of your characters is what your readers directly experience on the page, you may have written a Good story … but probably not a Great one.
Not always so easy.
I just started the first scene of the new draft – and really, it’s the prologue. I’d devised an entire back story for the Lovable Schmuck that will probably never make it to the pages – but writing the resulting voice for him? Harder than I thought. I thought I had it when I was drafting his character, but now that I’m actually making him interact with others, I’ve had to stop and think.
The trick, I reckon, is in the nugget dropping. Leaving a trail of clues along the way before the final Ah Hah at the end. And the hardest part of all: doing it elegantly. Avoiding an extra scene, when a sentence or two will suffice. Crafting the smallest moment that paints the thousand words, without detracting from the main story but adding to it.
Am I up to the challenge? I’m hoping so.
Drawing from personal experience
So we all know the adage that every life is a book waiting to be written. And some of us are mad enough to try. And we also know that it’s usually better to draw from personal experience than to try and wing it cold. Our characters are the most sympathetic when they are authentic. Which means knowing what the hell we’re talking about.
Which brings me to the next question: how close is too close? When do true events stop becoming fiction and start becoming autobiographic? Does it start with verbatim quotes and end with suspiciously similar-sounding names? (“I’ll call my protagonist… Memogen Goods. That will fool them.”) Can you be accused of unoriginality if you were to bring the most annoying character you know to your pages?
When does working the muse become abuse? Read more
The top 3 things that turn me off a book
I chanced upon a blog topic today, and couldn’t resist trying this one out.
List three things that make you hurl a book across the room
faster than seeing a spider on the wall.
And in no particular order,
- A bratty heroine
I once read a book by Audrey Howard and had to give up because I wanted so much to smack the living daylights out of the heroine. She was a thoroughly spoilt brat, and there’s nothing lovely or redeeming about a spoilt brat if she’s not even at least witty. I don’t care if she’s drop-dead gorgeous. I don’t care if she and the hero have wild, passionate nookie. And actually, it made me think even less of the man for wanting to stay with her, which I guess was what ultimately made me give up on the whole thing.
It’s the whole taming-of-the-shrew gambit really, but I absolutely loathe it when authors mistake “puerile” and “stroppy” for “headstrong” and “wild”. It’s also partly why I gave up on the whole Anita Blake series. Apart from the quick descent into Vampire Porn, Anita’s act-tough gig was just wearing thin on the nerves. Just shut up and do what you’re told by the 400 year old Vamp, chickie. Seriously. - The Huge Misunderstanding
Covered in detail by quite a few other bloggers, it’s one of my least favourite plot devices… but Pride and Prejudice redeems it, somewhat. That, and Emma with Mr Elton and Harriet. I guess a lot of it hangs on the delivery, although I’d prefer it if it weren’t the main plotline. - Lies, damned lies, and the imminent “murder will out”
Another very cringey one for me. I was trying out Georgette Heyer’s Arabella, and all was alright until Arabella, running on hurt pride and crazy adrenaline, started spinning such a stupidly obvious yarn about her non-existent riches to the hero, that I literally got nervous. I just couldn’t bear to get to the bit where her lie gets exposed, naked as a razed freshman left in the middle of a rugby field with nothing but a sock. I threw the book under the bed, and actually forgot all about it till now.
So there you go. I expect yours might be quite different.
Last of the plotlines! (dance a jig)
So I know for a fact that you haven’t been cheering for me, because I just found out that this website hasn’t yet been indexed by Google. So I spent quite a bit of the evening figuring out metatags, adding in a sitemap in WordPress, working out a better Twitter plugin than TweetSuite, and generally getting this blog hopefully indexed within 72 hours.
Anyhow – went and did it anyway. Finished my last plotline, AND worked out a couple more scenes with my piggy villain. She is now blessed with the hide of a Rhino (mixed metaphors!) and a suffocating ego. She also *happens* to resemble someone who *might* have been a colleague, once upon a time…
Because I had pre-rewarded myself by licking clean five spoonfuls of Connoiseur Cafe Grande (the one with the orgasmic chocolate-smothered almonds), the only thing I now have as reward is… sleep.
